Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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