I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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