Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
