at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
