Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
