woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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