She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
