She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize