its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
