Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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