if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wish you could order shots online.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
