somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
