Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
