im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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