Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I got inside last night via doggy door
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize