hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
