you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Threesome in a minivan. New low
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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