Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
