My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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