It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize