I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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