ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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