I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize