i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
