I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
