I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ketchup is God's man juice
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
