Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
