Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
