Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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