We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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