I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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