2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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