I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
