It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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