Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
