THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have aggressive nipples.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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