I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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