It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
