theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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