Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
