she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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