Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
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