cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
