Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize