That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize