I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
