he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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