On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
