dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
