is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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