Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
