Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
