dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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