I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
