if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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