Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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