You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
