Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
