Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize