I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
