And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
time to smoke my breakfast
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
