the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
