Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
