Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
