he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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