The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
